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My confessions might shock you. Then again, maybe not.

 
• I didn’t read the Harry Potter books, and worse, I didn’t watch all the movies.
• I don’t get Shakespeare at all, and believe me, I’ve tried.
• I don’t like U2 or Bono and never have.
• I swear like a man and am proud of it.
• I’ve never had a so-called recurring acid trip and my kids are not deformed (physically anyway)
• I once threatened to turn one of my children over to the state. Hey, it happens.
• I had a home birth and literally howled like an animal while pushing.
• I have shoplifted. But it was a really long time ago and the statute of limitations has expired.
• I pointed a squirt gun at a National Guardsman during a demonstration back in the sixties. I was promptly arrested and charged with disturbing the peace. Guess they didn’t think it was so funny.
• I have absolutely no respect for authority, which has gotten me in trouble numerous times in my life (see above).
• I voted for Ronald Reagan. But only the first time.
• I watch General Hospital. One time my husband said, “I can’t believe you, of all people, watch a soap opera!” Whatever that means.
• I have skinny-dipped a few times.
• I used to pen such offensive “tell it like it is” emails that people called them “zingers.”
• I’m not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of living.

 

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